


All this time (We were waiting for each other)

by mlledechateauneuf



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Arkadia High School, Athletic!Lexa - Freeform, Bit of Flarke, Childhood Friends, Clexa Endgame, Dork!Clarke, F/F, Football, Heartbreak, Nerd!Lexa, Polis Private School, Quarterback!Lexa, Slow Burn, artist!Clarke, don't know how to tag, forest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-18 03:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21504664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mlledechateauneuf/pseuds/mlledechateauneuf
Summary: You will always remember how you met her.It was under such serious circumstances, you were hoping to reach an agreement that would stop more blood loss from both of your groups. You may only have been nine years old at the time, but you knew nonetheless that no child your age should have to carry such a big weight on their shoulders. And yet, there you were, trying to stop a bloody nose Bellamy to trade fist punches with a slender girl whose glare terrified you to great lengths.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 8
Kudos: 108





	All this time (We were waiting for each other)

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "All This Time", One Republic:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7lUj_OSxhA
> 
> Other songs used:
> 
> "Flames (ft. Jungleboi)", R3HAB & ZAYN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r32IDx01CeU
> 
> "Whispers", Passenger: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9ZlADL1TqM
> 
> English is not my first language and I don't use any kind of proof-reading/beta, so I apologize for any typo or syntax mistakes hidden here and there.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> mllechateauneuf

You will always remember how you met her.  
It was under such serious circumstances, you were hoping to reach an agreement that would stop more blood loss from both of your groups. You may only have been nine years old at the time, but you knew nonetheless that no child your age should have to carry such a big weight on their shoulders. And yet, there you were, trying to stop a bloody nose Bellamy to trade fist punches with a slender girl whose glare terrified you to great lengths. But still, you stood tall, held your head high (mostly because she was one head taller) and told her that fighting would lead her nowhere because you weren't leaving. Your group was allowed to play in this forest as much as hers was, and yes, Octavia may have tripped and stumbled into a pile of branches that looked like a poorly built hut, effectively destroying it, but she apologized.

"We were here first," she snarled. "Restrain your dog, then get lost, Blondie."

You couldn't see, but you knew Bellamy's nostrils flared at that. You interrupted before he could growl something.

"So what if you were here first, we can share. I don't see your name anywhere."

Something flecked in the taller girl's eyes and a small smirk appeared at the corner of her mouth. Now, you were positively scared. "Actually," she drawled. "I'm a Forrester. And if you're not convinced, I know someone whose name is Woods, which means she practically owns every inch of land here."

"That doesn't mean anything" you huffed, when really, you thought it made a lot of sense.

"Well, if you want to fight her on that, be my guest."

On that, she took you by the arm and tugged you forward, leaving all of your friends behind to stare each other down.

\----

She led you to a huge hut on which a few drapes were hanging from the top and two pieces of it closed the entrance. She opened the flap and pushed you inside.

"We found them destroying Tris' hut."

A pair of eyes flicked from the book they were reading and you were met with the greenest gaze you've ever seen. It pierced right through you, sending a jolt of electricity from your head to your toes. The girl it belonged to appeared to be approximately your age (having a doctor as a mom, you prided yourself at using adult words like that), with a long braided brown mane. She was curled on a big dark green bean bag, a red throw draped over her shoulders. She closed her book and stood up. You noticed you were slightly taller than her and it gave you hope. You had the advantage. 

"You're the one who destroyed my friend's hut?"

You would not let yourself be distracted by how pretty her voice was. No sir. She could easily become a strong distraction, because you love all things pretty, but you were a hot tempered nine year old who inherited from her mother an even stronger stubbornness. You would not back down, you would not bow. 

"It was an accident." you replied. You were loyal to your friends and you would not throw Octavia under the bus. "Besides, it would not have been destroyed if your friend used rope to hold the branches together, it's the logical thing to do." Your dad was an engineer. He taught you basic knowledge.

She did not seem fazed by your answer. Maybe she already knew that, but your pride decided that she didn't, even if she must have had some kind of skills to build a hut as huge as hers.

"This is our turf." the taller girl said when Green Eyes just kept looking at you. "They won't leave."

"If you could apologize to Tris and be more careful..."

"We already did."

"Well then I don't see why you're here. The forest is big enough for us all to play, as long as you know that these parts of the woods have already been claimed and so, you should be considerate about the people here."

And you were both dismissed, just like that. You thought about how the world is so simple when you're nine, have a head on your shoulders and understanding in your heart.

\----

So, naturally, after dinner when the sun was just starting its slow descent, you went back to the hut to find the girl still wrapped in her blanket, reading the same book in the same position you first found her. She looked up from her book, surprise in her eyes.

"My family moved in a few days ago and so far, I only have two friends and they are brother and sister. Octavia Blake is small but loud and excited, Bellamy Blake is tall and trying too hard to prove himself. You seem quiet and smart, and you have pretty everything. Will you be my friend?" Nailed it. You were so ready for that little speech.

The girl considers you in silence for a little while, so you go on making your case and improvise: "My mom is a doctor, so she basically saves lives everyday. My dad is an engineer and he teaches me a lot of stuff, so I could really help you out in improving your huts, even though yours is already kind of perfect, with the drapes and all..." You see a flicker of amusement in those green eyes and you think your rambling might have been a good idea. Somehow.

"I like to read a lot and I've been told it's a solitary activity. I wouldn't be much fun." She sounds a bit sorry and you don't understand why, because she could just not read and do something else with her friends. But you, Clarke Griffin, are a girl who always have a plan.

"Well, I like to draw a lot and I've also been told it's a solitary thing. Especially when I tell people off when they're moving too close."

And there it is. The corners of her plump lips lift up and its beauty stuns you. It is the prettiest almost-smile you've ever seen. You move closer and get a quick look at the book she's reading.

"I'm Clarke Griffin, as in Gryffindor."

Her eyebrows lift and her face remains passive, and her eyes, although they narrow a bit, convey her amusement. "You're a dork."

"Yes," you say proudly. You get that from your dad. "And you like it."

"Hm, the jury's still out."

"Well, that's kind of rude...?"

"Lexa."

"Lexa."

You taste the sweetest roll on your tongue from her name and if that doesn't make sense, you don't care.

She stands up and walks to you. Your breath hitch from the way her eyes land on yours, shining in the softest green.

"I'd be honoured to be your friend, Clarke."

You swear your name never sounded so sweet.

\----

Lexa is decidedly not soft. Far from it, she is ruthless, hence her nickname "The Commander".

If you had any lingering doubt when you saw the smallest hint of fondness in her eyes whenever she would look at Anya - the taller girl's name - or the look of pride she threw Tris when her hut was high and solid - thanks to you -, seeing Lexa in the ring definitely erased any of those doubts. She is terrifying.

She's light on the balls of her feet, she's agile and fast, and boy can she deliver a punch. It's frightening really, seeing a warrior instead of a ten year old girl. Still, you love to watch her spar with Anya. You're entranced by the way their bodies dance with one another and you fully understand the "art" part of "martial arts". And you totally understand how Anya kicked Bellamy's butt without so much as blinking an eye when you first met in the forest.

In the span of the one year you've known her, you never thought you could learn so much from someone as young as you.  
Lexa, as it appears, is the heir of the empire Woods Corp. Titus, her legal guardian ever since she can remember, grooms her to be a leader. You figure it explains her royal demeanour, but you find that even if she is a natural leader wherever she goes, she doesn't act like she's above everyone and you admire her for that. She might be stoic, devoid of any emotional trace, but you know how to read her: you know her eyes are the tellers of her internal turmoil, her jaw conveying a lot more than her mouth speaks words. You also know she has a soft spot for you and you most definitely reel in it. She only shows it when you're both alone in the Commander's hut, especially late in the evening when you're curled up in the makeshift bed you made by bringing a thousands pillows and an old comforter. You're amazed by how quick she can go from being solid foundation when you lean your head against her chest to a puddle of mush when you fondle the back of her neck or when you play with her hair. You swear she actually purrs. These moments of intimacy are the best part of your days. You feel a pull deep within your chest, but you believe you are too young to know what love is, so you figure this is how best friends make each other feel. When you tell her about it, the softness that takes over her eyes, the one you know is just for you, seems to shine even brighter: "I know what you mean, Clarke" she whispers. Her lips are so close and they're a lovely shade of pink and they look so soft, and you're so used to just wondering what they taste like that you're horrified when you see your own thumb reaching to trace the contour of her bottom lip. She opens her mouth the tiniest bit, her eyes never leaving your lips. A branch cracks outside, startling you both, before a deep voice sounds outside the hut:

"Lexa."

It's Gustus, Lexa's keeper - _bodyguard_ she prefers "it's much more closer to the truth, Clarke, I am a very important person." you slap her arm -, and you know she has to go home.

\----

From all those nights in the Commander's hut, you've learned the recesses of her beautiful mind. She can talk about anything going from literature, geography, politics, you're mindblown about how someone so young can know so much. She says with a light blush on her cheeks that reading will do that to you, but you know being smart also has a lot to do with it too. You especially like to tease her about that one time she mentioned squids, quite excitedly, you might add: "Clarke, did you know that the squids' taxonomic rank is called "Cephalopoda", which literally means "wandering brain"!" You called her "Squid" after that ("It was _one_ time, Clarke, let it go!") and you still think it's too fun to stop. Another favorite was the time she claims a racoon screeched at her then stole the apple she dropped: "They're ferocious beasts, Clarke, do not trust them!" You think the contradiction of her two personas - the stoic Commander and the young nature lover girl - makes a whole you don't think you want to live without anymore. You're still wondering if that is what love feels like, but again, you think you're too young to deal with such complex emotions.

Then, one day, you're both laying on the river bank outside, watching the stars shine above you. She talks about the time she was younger, about how she used to think the trees were so high so they could picks stars from the sky and hold them in their branches in the early hours of the morning, and that was why the trees were glowing at dawn. She tells you that even when she learned about morning dew, she still liked to believe in her young innocence. When you turn your head to stare into her eyes, you finally stop fighting it. You know one day, when you're ready, you will love Lexa Woods.

\----

Lexa Woods broke your heart at the age of thirteen.

You remember painfully all the promises you made each other, but the memory that hurts the most is the time when she promised a "together" that she sealed with a kiss. Your first kiss. Everything that you could have dreamed of was there, the moonlight, the forest in which you grew up, the shine in her eyes, the erratic beating of your heart, the taste of her lips. What was once the best night of your life suddenly became a hole in your heart from which pain would just not stop flowing out of. You thought, once again, that you were too young to feel a heartbreak as strong as this one.

You were supposed to start at Arkadia High School _together_ , take on the turbulent world of teenagers _together_ , and then you didn't because she left. When she told you she was instead going to Polis Private School, it was the first time you saw her eyes empty. When you'll think about it again years later, you will understand that her eyes were filled with pain and regret, but you never saw those emotions in her young eyes before, so you did the only thing you could do: you believed they were empty of love.

"Polis offers me a better shot at an Ivy League College. I'm sorry, Clarke," she said in a small voice "but I made this choice with my head, not my heart."

You're so hurt by the betrayal that you don't even take the time to consider what she means by that. You watch her with disbelieving eyes and when she turns on her heels and leaves you cold, you know that all the anger and pain you feel are because you were in love with Lexa Woods.

\----

You start Arkadia High School with great expections and a sour taste in your mouth. You told yourself you were not going to let a girl distract you from reaching your goal - which was to perform at school so you could get into any college of your choice - and that's exactly what you do. Octavia gets into the soccer varsity team and Bellamy, who is a year older than you, keeps his spot on the football team, so you study in the bleachers while waiting for the siblings' practice to end. A boy from Bellamy's team always seem to linger around when practice is over. He keeps sending you shy glances, you don't know him, but you like the attention: his soft brown eyes take your mind off another pair of green. You smile to him from time to time and you try to swallow the fact that his floppy hair is the wrong shade of brown.

"Hey Princess, I'm Finn. Collins." he says one day.

You don't even try to hide your glare. "What did you just call me?"

"Surgeon mom, engineer dad. Doesn't take a genius to put two and two together."

"You have no right to judge me."

"I didn't-"

"Yes, you did. You think I'm spoiled because my parents aced their careers."

"What? That's not-"

"You know what, Finn? Get lost."

You don't see the smile on his lips at your feistiness, but you wouldn't care anyway. You take your things and hop off the bleachers eager to get back home.

"See you around, Princess!" you hear him shout behind you.

Next thing you know, his stupid nickname sticks around. Bellamy says to take it as a compliment, you tell him to fuck off. Now, he says it just to get a rise out of you. Still, you make new friends, Jasper and Monty, the first one is nice, but he flirts with every girl that moves (you're also pretty sure he has a crush on Octavia, but you know there's no way in hell he's got a chance), and the second one is kind of quiet (especially compared to Jasper), scary smart and also a stoner. So you sit with them and the Blake siblings at lunch, Bellamy, being the football captain, attracts a lot of guys to sit around your table. As you look at the people around you, cheering, being young, happy and all, you ignore the ache in your chest and force yourself to smile.

Finn sits with you everyday at lunch and you find that he's not as bad as you originally thought he was. You even start texting him. Octavia gives you knowing glances and you flip her off in response. You're not sure how to describe your relationship: he easily gets on your nerves, but he somehow always charms his way around and you find you were never mad at him to begin with. It's... easy going, you guess, and as time goes by, you would even say hanging out with him is _fun_. He's still a pain in the ass, just to be clear, but he's _your_ pain in the ass, as much as it hurts to say it. In the next months that follow, you come to learn he is quite the nature lover as well. You sometimes find him staring outside instead of paying attention to class, wondering about all the wonders he's seeing. His father is a hunter and you even join him on a weekend at their cabin. You go with him on a hunt and find that you actually enjoy the time you spend with him in the _forest_. Sure it's another one, four hours away from your town, but still. You haven't been able to go back to any kind of forest since... well _she_ left, so you count this as a victory.

The rest of your freshman year goes by in a blur. Your group of friends continue to grow and you somehow find yourself being amongst the most popular in school. You've never asked for it, but you supposed being the leader of your gang will do that to you (not that you asked for it either, but seeming to be the most sensible one, people look up to you). Besides, the buzz and the constant noise keep at certain voice at bay and by the end of the year, you're sick of feeling empty and aching. So you find the next best thing that will keep your mind away. You start partying every weekend of the summer, you even acquire the nickname "Party Animal Griffin", 'cause you know how to part-ay, thank you very much. Drink your pain away, some Murphy guy once said, it'll be fun, he said.

You've grown into your body in the summer between freshman and sophomore year. You think it was pretty damn time, but whatever. You used to envy Octavia's chest and now, who are you kidding. Yours breasts are full and you're in love with your new curves. Armed with your newfound confidence, you tentatively pick up a paintbrush: you haven't touched anything remotely close to art since the beginning of high school. Your fingers incessantly twitched from wanting to draw two green eyes, but you'd never let them. It was not part of moving on. But now, a year later, here you are in front of a blank canvas, and you start painting with abandon. You release all the anger and hurt that's pent up inside of you, you mix it with the relief of having found a group that gives you a feeling of belonging, a boy that you've definitely been crushing on all summer if all the party flirting has been any indication. Hours later, neck stiff and unable to feel your left arm, you take a step back and look at the trees standing tall to pick up stars from the night sky in the palm of their leaves. When you realize what you just did, you close your eyes and knock the canvas down in a heartbreaking sob.

\----

Finn snaps his wrist a few weeks into sophomore school during football practice. He slowly starts to withdraw into himself, sulking most of the time and not speaking to anyone but you. You decide to try to cheer him up with a cabin weekend away together and he lights up at the idea. So there you are, in his room at the cabin, you see him take out a few candles and then suddenly, a memory flashes before your eyes, you're in the Commander's hut and there's a soft voice whispering in your ear, a sweet grapefruit soy candle burning at your side and two green eyes looking at your so tenderly. You haven't thought about her since you last painted and you're now more angry with yourself than anything else. You stop his movements and just shake your head in response to his frown gaze. "No candles," you just say. He just nods and opens the drawer with his good hand to put the candles away, but as he moves, he drops them all with an abrupt jerk of his broken wrist. He screams out in frustration and kicks the fallen candles around and he even starts pushing random pieces of furniture around. You yell his name and throw yourself in front of him, trying to get his attention.

"Finn, please, it's okay. I'm here," you whisper, eyes locked. Your hands come up to cup his cheeks. "You're not alone."

"But I am,"he whines desperately. "I can't play football this year. I can never be ready for the scouts next year, I can't go to college if I don't have a scolarship. I'll just end up being what I always am. I'm just a fucking waste, Clarke. I'm a fucking mess and I'm fucking alone!"

You feel all the anger pent up in you finally ready to spill. So you let it.

"You are _not_ alone,"your voice is low, but it never has been more dangerous. "I've got my heart broken right before the beginning of high school, but I somehow found a way out and I know it's because of you," you feel tears threatening to fall from your eyes any moment now. You close your eyes and take a deep breath before going on. "So don't you even dare closing in on yourself and leaving me behind. I will _not_ have it, you hear me? You are _not_. You are _not_ alone."

You see something shift in his eyes and months of tension finally break. His lips crashes into yours, desperate and wanting, and you answer with the same vigour. You both undress yourselves in a haste and he carries you to the bed. Your fist time is with Finn at his parents' cabin, two lost teenagers who felt alone in the world but found each other and the sex is just that: a hard, quick, desperate pounding that gets you both off after a few minutes. Tears fall from both of your eyes: his are for someone he finally found, yours, for someone you finally let go.

\----

A new hell breaks loose on the Monday you come back from the cabin.

"Hey babe, miss me much?"

You and Finn both stop in your track before a beautiful latina girl with a high ponytail and a red leather jacket on. She throws herself at him and you're too stunned to do anything when you see them kissing passionately.

"Raven! What are you doing here?" He looks at you when he says that, begging you to wait it out before saying anything.

"Well, lets just say I blew something up in the house and I was finally let off from my lame excuse of a guardian."

"What-"

"Shh, pretty face, the less you know, the better. Your hair looks like shit by the way."

She kisses him again and you can't take this anymore. You walk away, something breaking yet again inside of you. You're not sure where you end up, but it's against a wall and the air suddenly feels too tight, the pressure in your lungs too strong, You vision starts blurring and you can't breathe anymore. _Fuck, fuck, fuck_ , you recognize the signs of a panic attack, but suddenly, there are strong arms around you and a deep soft hum against your head. "There, there, Princess, it's all gonna be okay." You think you recognize the voice, but you can't be sure yet. "Listen to my voice, okay? I'm gonna count to ten until you can count with me." The arms keep the pressure tight around you and you nuzzle into the chest. Your senses slowly come back to you and once you recognize Bellamy's soothing voice, you take a deep breath and find that you can't help the sob that escapes after. You don't think you want to keep it in anyway. "That's it, Princess, let it out" he says gently. You grip his shirt tighter as the sobs become harder. "Bell..." you whine. "I'm here," he promises and you believe him.

\----

"Clarke!"

It's Finn, he's running after you but you don't give a shit.

"Clarke! Please!"

He catches up and grabs you by your arm, which he immediately lets go of after seeing your glare. "Clarke, I-"

"Have a girlfriend?" you snap. He looks down.

"I thought we were broken up..."

"Well she clearly didn't get the memo."

"Clarke, please, it's not that simple-"

"I don't care Finn. You have a girlfriend, it's fine."

"Let me explain-"

"There's nothing to explain, Finn. I gave you an easy way out saying it's fine. Take it."

"Clarke, she's a Delinquant!"

Well, that gets you to stop and ponder his words, so he goes on. "We've been with the same foster family for a long time, then they sent Raven away when they realized we were close. They wanted to keep me only because they used to think that they would somehow get more attention and more money if I became a star player." He shakes his head, clearly disgusted. "She was sent towns away, I didn't think we'd see each other again before she at least turned eighteen."

Well, you can honestly say you didn't expect that. But it didn't change anything.

"She still thinks you're together. And she obviously has feelings for you."

You turn away and don't look back.

\----

It's weird. You try to avoid Finn as much as you can, but between sharing some of the same classes and sharing the same group of friends, it's almost an impossible task. You don't talk about Raven or the weird place you're in, you don't talk about much. He asks tentative questions and tries to make awkward small talk, but you shut him down quickly. You believed him when he told you he thought they were over, but that's as far as you're willing to go. That seems to be the least you can do and you don't want to do more. Raven, who is Bellamy's age, works at a mechanic garage instead of going to school: she turns out to be quite the genius. She starts showing up with Finn at your weekly gathering and despite the awkwardness of the situation, you find that you quite enjoy her company. You wonder if Finn told her about you because you start thinking you might want to be friends with her, but by the suspicious looks she starts giving you, you guess he hasn't said a word.

"Did you fuck Finn?"

Well, so much for wanting to be friends.

"Isn't that a conversation you should be having with him?"

"It takes two to cheat: him and you. I want to know both sides and I want to know now."

You at least have the decency to look at the ground before diving back in her dark eyes.

"He never said anything about." Your voice is so small. You feel guilt, regret, betrayed. Again. "I'm sorry, Raven, if I had known, I never would have-"

"Oh don't do me any favours, your Highness."

Well now you're just confused.

"You think that having blonde hair, big tits and big money will get you any man, even the taken ones? Well guess what, you're just a phase! You don't know him like I do, you're just a doll to him to play with and when he gets bored, he'll return to the one who really _knows_ him. You will never share the bond we have, because you will never understand him!"

"Oh that's rich," you scoff (at her _and_ at your non-intended pun). "you know what, you people seem to know me a lot better than I know myself. All you ever do is judge me because of my parents' income and I am fucking _sick_ of it!" You get even closer to her, your voice dropping an octave lower. You could tell her about how she's judging rich people whilst eating and drinking their food, and being in their house, enjoying their pool. You could tell her that if she wants to put the blame on someone, she could open her fucking eyes _this much_ and see that Finn is part of the guilty. But you just say: "You don't know me at all," you growl, "you don't get to say _shit_ about me."

She scoffs and gives you a slow once-over: "I know everything I need to."

You're about to ask her if she knew about that punch you were so ready to give her when you notice it. The smallest tilt of her chin, the flash of hurt in her eyes (you try to ignore how you became a professional in studying people's facial expressions). You realize that she's in pain, her pride is hurt, her lover moved on as if she was dead. She's trying to hold onto anything that would make this untrue, so she unlashes on you. Whether that's fair or not, you let her, because ultimately, that's what friends do (and your "women hold each other up" side is beaming with pride).

"I'm sorry, Raven. I honestly didn't know."

You walk away. Fucking teenager world.

\----

"I'm sorry about what I said at the chilling."

You look up from your salad, surprise etched all over your face. Raven Reyes is standing before you on the bleachers and she's... _apologizing_? You admit you don't know much about her, but you sure as hell know she's not the one to ask and give her word lightly.

"Uh, can you like, close your mouth? I'm sure your parents at least taught you that."

You recognize her attempt at lighting up the mood if your smile and small chuckle is anything to go by. "I'm sorry, I just... didn't expect that so soon, I guess?"

"So soon?"

"I knew you'd come to your senses."

"Pff, as if you are the voice of reason. Cocky much?"

"Qui se resssemble s'assemble."

"Okay, I know French people have this... highly sexual stereotype going on, but did you know, they're also known for being, gosh, was it it? _Snob assholes_."

You start laughing like you haven't in a long time. And it feels good. Raven joins you a few seconds later. It feels even better.

"Seriously though," she says after you both calm down, "I am sorry I was a major jerk. For what it's worth. I didn't mean all those nasty things I said. Finn and I... I wasn't willing to let go of the idea I had of us." She looks in the distance with teary eyes. You can't help but put a hand on hers.

"I know what you mean, more than you know."

Somehow, she knows you're not talking about Finn.

\----

Finn starts following you around, like, more than usual. He shows up at school with old day's clothes, tussled hair, reeking and you really start worrying when his eyes become red and obsessive. You give in one day and try to talk some sense into him.

"Finn, go home and get some rest. You need it."

"Clarke, please, I need you to tell me we're okay..."

"There's no "we", Finn. It's over."

He shakes his head, tears welling up in his eyes. You have a feeling of what he's going to say next and you don't like it.

"I should have fought for you..."

"Finn, dont-"

"Clarke," he pleads, "I love you."

Your heart breaks a little. You look down, unable to take his puppy eyes at the confession.

"I'm in love with you."

You tighten your jaw, lock his gaze with your hard one and will your voice not to crack.

"You broke my heart. I'm sorry, I just can't."

You turn and walk away, hoping it's over. When did walking away become a constant in your life?

\----

Finn starts acting out. He comes to school high as fuck and carries a flask in his hoodie. You suppose you can empathize with his broken wrist crushing his football dream and his torn heart, but still, that's the extent of it, you don't like people who victimize themselves (not that he is, but he could try to get his shit together).

"Give him a break, he made a mistake." Octavia says one day at lunch. You look up and sees him giving you heartbroken-eyes. You sigh, it's really starting to wear you out.

"He lied to me _and_ Raven-"

"He thought they were over!"

You send her a furious glare: "Why are you pushing this?"

"Because I hadn't seen you like this since L-"

"Don't!" You deflate. "He broke my heart, Octavia. So soon after... I just can't get over this." You haven't said her name out loud since the beginning of high school. Almost two years.

She softens slightly before going back full force: "That fucking bitch broke you."

"Don't call her that." You can't help it, the urge to protect her is stronger than you. You have a feeling you know why, but you don't want to think about it just now.

"I just don't understand why you even like her. She was always so cold and... I don't know, closed off I guess."

"You didn't know her like I did," your voice is almost imperceptible. You knew her laugh, her tender eyes, her ghost-smile, her soft voice. She only showed that side of herself to you (well, maybe Anya saw it once or twice as well) and it made you feel special. That's what stings the most. Knowing that you might not have been.

What hurts even more is knowing that you're fooling yourself. Knowing and _understanding_ why she chose Polis, knowing you would probably have done the same given the chance. Knowing that deep down, the choice must have hurt Lexa as much as it hurt you. Knowing that you've forgiven her, but you've gotten so used to the deep anger you've lived with since she broke the news that it scares you to let go of it. It scares you that the anger is the only thing still linking you to Lexa, who you thought you put to rest after Finn. Ha, good one. You know she'll always be haunting you, like all the first loves do.

"So Finn's hair looks like a bird's nest full of turds."

Octavia, ever the eloquent one. You're grateful for the distraction.

\----

Finn gets kicked out of school.

It was a typical day, you were waiting by the bleachers for Octavia when some guy from the football team ran up behind you to slap your ass before running off to his friends. Finn, who saw the whole thing, went up to him and started beating him senseless, despite his cast. Even when the guy's face was drowned in blood, when his members were limp, when his buddies didn't even dare to move, Finn just kept punching him.

So there you are, in front of the principal and Finn's social worker, grasping at straws to make his case. You feel so powerless and anger, who has taken a permanent residence in your chest, just keeps burning hotter, and you're so tired of feeling angry all the time, you can't help it when you let out a strangled sob and give out your ultimate argument that you know holds no power: "He did it for me." Your voice cracks, you look down, a lone tear running down your face.

"He did it for me."

\----

Finn transfers to another foster home. You never hear from him again.

\----

You spend the summer between sophomore and junior year like the last (partying every weekend), except you're now the one permanently attached to a flask. You drink and sleep around, you don't go anywhere near your art supplies, you're emotionally empty but physically full. Junior year is on you before you know it.

\----

"Okay, Griff. Time for the real talk."

Octavia slams her tray on the bleacher next to you and it makes you drop some of your flask's content on your shirt. You send her a glare that she ignores with professional ease.

"If it's about my dr-"

"We're going to fuckin' Polis!"

You almost, _almost_ , spit your mouthful right at her. " _What_?"

"Homecoming game. Everyone's going."

"So?"

"So, we have to go."

"Well, if everyone says to go jump off a cliff..."

"Oh shut the fuck up, old lady, I don't need a stupid lesson. We're going and you're coming with."

"What's up, turd birds?" Raven throws at you one of the two McDonald's bag she brought and you swear you could kiss her right now.

"Ugh, Raven, you reek of sex. Haven't you heard of showers?"

"Oh, my sweet innocent child, if only you knew what kind of shower I just had."

"AH my eyes, my fuckin' eyes!"

You laugh at your friend's antics and Raven just winks at you. She has been sickenly satisfied ever since she started seeing a mysterious person some time during last summer. She won't tell you anything about them, saying it's top secret sex (even if the sex part is the only thing _not_ secret). Her level of secrecy is so high she even uses "they" to refer to them. She won't give anything away, she's so infuriating.

"Anyway... roadtrip to Polis for homecoming game, bitches!"

"Holy shit, are you serious!? Ayeee!!"

Despite the food she graciously provided, you suddenly like Raven a little less.

"What's with the face?"

"She doesn't want to go."

"Clarke," oh great, she takes her "serious" voice. "I'm gonna explain something to you and I need you to listen to me very carefully."

"Shut up."

"We have to go."

"You guys can go, why do _I_ have to go?"

"Clarke, you don't understand! Homecoming games at Polis are legendary! I don't even go to school and I know about them. They're like, the Superbowl."

"I don't care for either one of them."

"Bell's gonna play." Octavia adds. "The tickets are only ten bucks for the students of opposing schools."

"Oh, Arkadia is playing too? Well, you guys must suck dicks if you're visitors for homecoming."

"Shut the fuck up, Raven, it's that new quarterback of theirs who's got them undefeated. Apparently, they actually randomly picked an opposing team for homecoming. A fucking random draw! "

"Why would I want to go watch our team being destroyed?" you try.

"Because, it's crazy man! You don't understand, homecoming is the biggest game of the year and Polis puts on this crazy ass show! Everyone's going!"

"Stop it with everyone, that argument is NOT good, O."

"But she's right, Clarke, it is a pretty big deal. I think it'd be good for us to go. Get some fresh air, you know."

Ah Raven, if only you knew. Well, on second thoughts, maybe it wouldn't change anything since Octavia knows but she still apparently gives zero fucks.

"Is this about Lexa?"

"Who's Lexa?"

Oh, great. You don't answer, just stuff a fry angrily in your mouth.

"Clarke, she's probably not gonna be there."

"Oh? I thought _everyone was going_ " you say sarcastically.

"Who's Lexa?"

"Clarke, it's been two years."

"It's not just her, O. It's... going _there_ " you wave your hands uselessly in the air, hoping they convey the idea of Polis.

"Who the fuck is Lexa?"

"A bitch who broke Clarke. You know what, on second thought, I hope she will be there so I can punch her in her fucking boobs!"

You can't help but chuckle at that. "Well, who needs an army when you can just punch someone in the boobs?"

"I'll kick her in the vagina too!" Raven says rather enthusiastically.

You can't be sure, but maybe it's Octavia's unwavering support and Raven's unquestioning loyalty that gets you to you agree to this stupid game.

\----

Okay, so Polis _is_ pretty impressive.

Sure, it's dark out and you can only see the football field, but you can also see vague shapes of an off-white building far in the distance, and _that_ is impressive as fuck.

The stadium is also quite impressive and you wonder how come a stadium can look so impressive.

You also wonder if your vocabulary goes beyond the word "impressive".

Of course, you can't help but scan the opposite bleachers which hold the home supporters. You know it's wishful thinking to think you could actually spot someone in the crowd at that distance, but you still look, swaying between relief and disappointment once you finally give up.

You turn to your immediate surrounding instead and must admit that the general atmosphere starts to get to you. The bleachers are completely full, you can feel the electricity in the air, the excitement around being the new oxygen and your friends shouting along with everyone even if nothing is going on on the field. Octavia convinced the whole gang to come under the pretense of supporting Bellamy (not that they needed any incentive, apparently Polis' homecoming games really are a thing). It turns out you may or may not be grateful that your friends dragged you out. You will never admit it.

\----

Then, the all the lights go out and a loud drum starts banging. The crowd is ecstatic, its cheers only getting louder.

_Thump clap, th-thump thump clap. Thump clap, th-thump thump pheww._

Lights on the ground turn on, illuminating the outline of the field. Polis' marching band, all dressed in black stop in line at the center of the field.

_Thump clap, th-thump thump clap. Thump clap, th-thump thump pheww._

One of the trumpet players breaks the line and starts playing the melody of a song you know by heart.

_Thump clap, th-thump thump clap. Well, well_

_You better run from me_  
_You better hit the road_  
_You better up and leave_  
_Don't get too close_

The instrument's sound is as suave and seductive as the original's voice. It makes you shiver and you can only watch, entranced.

 _'Cause I'm a rolling stone_  
_And I keep rolling on_  
_You better run from me_  
_Before I take your soul_

They all start marching back, as the lights flicker and the cheerleading team comes forth.

 _If I go, let me go_  
_Don't you follow me, let me go_  
_I will let you down, let me go_  
_Even if your heart can't take it, light me up in flames_  
_Light me up in_

Then, it happens when the chorus comes on. As most of the instruments chant the backvocals of the song and others cry "Light me up!", fire spits out from the field at the same time flyers are thrown in the air in a perfectly tailored choreography. The crowd only cheers louder and you can't help but be a part of it.

 _You better run from me_  
_You better say goodbye_  
_And even if I plead_  
_Don't waste your time_

The band is now swallowed in darkness, the only attention being on the cheerleaders. 

_'Cause I'm a broken home_  
_You're better off alone_  
_You better run from me_  
_Before I take your soul_

Their choreography, much more sober than the chorus was, turns to undulating movements, desired longing, irresistibly provocative. There's no denying it: the show is pretty fucking spectacular. All the lights once again go out for the next segment:

 _If I go, let me go_  
_Don't you follow me, let me go_  
_I will let you down, let me go_  
_Even if your heart can't take it, light me up in flames_  
_Light me up in_

Suddenly, the cheerleaders' uniforms are glowing in the dark and they make the shape of a "G" before the final drop.

All the ground lights come back on and the _Grounders_ banner is broken by the team that runs into the field in coordinated ranks of two. Their uniforms' are glowing as well and they make a circle around the cheerleaders, who are separated in a pattern of lines. The whole distinctly takes the shape of a live cog, Polis' logo, as everyone moves as one. And then, when the music stops, everyone screams one final time in what sounds like a war cry and you have no doubt it's one:

_Light me up in flames._

\----

When the lights have gone back and the cheers have died down (just a tiny little bit), the commentator's voice fills up the stadium:

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Polis' homecoming game 2019!"

More cheers.

"Before we introduce the teams, can I get another round of applause for our marching band and cheerleaders teams!"

More screams, it's deafening really, but your heart is still full from the show. You kind of can't believe all of this was only for ten bucks.

"Also, shout out to Lincoln Pine the soloist." The commentator's voice is almost drown under all the noise.

"Let me now present you the opposing team, the Arkadia Stars!"

Your whole half of the stadium is bursting in cheering as your team enters the field in a less than spectacular manner compared to the Grounder's entrance (but you all keep that to yourselves and act like it was as glorious).

"Now, I would like to invite the team captains to the middle of the field for the coin toss."

Before anything happens, Polis' crowd is chanting something.

_Heda! Heda! Heda!_

"What are they saying?" asks Octavia.

"Edgar?"

"The fuck Raven? Wash your ears!"

"Well, I don't know! Why don't you-"

"I think they're saying 'Heda'" you say before their thing escalates.

"Who is _that_?"

You automatically spot the lone figure entering the field at Jasper's (kind of) rhetorical question. They walk like they own the place, royal demeanor on display and you don't doubt for a second the hardness of the glare under the helmet. When they walk pass you, you can't help your gaze from dropping to their ass.

Because it's a magnificent one that should be really be...

"Fucking illegal," eloquently supplies Octavia.

Fucking hell, these pants should not be allowed and you're so distracted you almost miss the presentations.

"...ders' quaterback, Lexa Woods."

Well, shit.

\----

The game is almost at halftime and you're sorely loosing 35-05 (not that you care with the way you watch, hypnotized, the opposing quaterback dancing gracefully whilst barking orders on the pitch).

Then, it happens. The left tackle Grounder somehow doesn't block the Star right end, who ends up tackling Lexa down from her blindside. The whole crowd goes absolutely silent and you watch in horror as the two crumble down on the ground in a sickening sound of breaking bones.

"LEXA!"

You can't help it when your voice shouts your fear and desperation.

\----

Halftime immediately starts once Lexa stands back up on her feet, as if nothing happened. You see her throwing the ball in frustration and shouting at her tackle until she is forced out of the field by the medics team. Then, you do the only thing you can do. You pretend you have to go to the bathroom, but find yourself sneaking in and looking for the locker rooms. You finally find it and stop in your tracks when you hear voices after opening the door. You slide behind a row of lockers, eavesdropping.

"She broke her arm, she is not going back there again."

You recognize Gustus' growl with a pang of nostalgia in your heart.

"I can speak for myself, Gustus."

A shiver overtakes your body with such a force you sway a little. _Her voice_. God, how much you've missed it. You close your eyes and try to regulate your treacherous heart that's beating out of your chest.

"Don't worry, Titus, I will be finishing the game."

 _Titus_. Lexa's guardian. You've never met him, but you heard things about his idea of grooming a leader (meaning, morally debatable philosophy). You sneak a peak and see that he is a tall bald man with a back so straight you immediately see where Lexa gets it.

"You have no choice. You must not fail."

Gustus scoffs before snarling: "She's leading 35 to 05. She could be out of the game, _safe_ , and there's still no way they could as much as hope to win this thing."

Titus narrows his eyes at him before saying: "How dare you. Remember your place."

The mountain of a man straightens up, effectively towering over the other. "I'll give you something to remember this by..."

"Gustus," her voice stops him like it stops your heart, " _enough_." He may be employed by Woods Corp., technically making Titus his boss, but anybody knows where his heart lies.

You can't take this anymore, so you sneak your way out, before barging back in, making sure to cause enough noise to startle them. Lexa's eyes widen and catch yours and suddenly, it's nothing but green, green, green.

"Leave us."

Hers is the only voice you hear through all the noise.

\----

You don't know how long both of you are just staring at one another. It feels like a lifetime. You take in every detail of her work of art of a body: from the sculpted eyebrows, you skip the pool of green in which you'd drown for sure to go over elegant cheekbones and down to the lines of that sinful jaw. Her figure is as slim as you remember, although she's grown taller and her curves remind you of a feline: pliant and dangerously seductive. You mouth is suddenly dry, you feel trapped, a prey to the intense gaze.

You slowly walk over to her who's still seated on the bench. If you didn't know better, you'd think she's as entranced as you are, not daring to blink in case you'd suddenly disappear. But no, that's not what's happening, that _can't_ be happening, because she stopped caring about you long ago and that got you out of your trance.

"You're hurt." You mentally high five yourself at the harshness of your voice. You didn't want to seem weak in front of her.

"It's fine," her voice is just above a whisper, you almost miss it. She still looks at you with her eyes wide and you can't take how open and vulnerable they look.

"You can't possibly be thinking about going back into the game."

"It's fine, it's not my throwing arm."

"Lexa, no!"

You see a smile tug at her lips as she looks down and you think you see a slight blush at her cheeks.

"So, you're the one who shouted my name when it happened. I thought I recognized your voice, but I almost didn't want to believe it."

You don't know what to say, you only know you're torn between elation and burning embarrassment that she recognized you. She looks up at you again and stands up. She's now taller than you by a few inches.

"What are you doing here, Clarke?"

It's the first time you've heard your name from her lips in two years. You hadn't realized how much you missed it until now and it sends shivers through your entire _treacherous_ body.

"You can't go back on the pitch."

Her eyes start burning with a different intensity and it both terrifies and excites you to no end.

"It's _fine_ ," she snarls.

God, it's like it's the only word she knows. The venom that's suddenly tainting her words seems to awaken your own anger.

"You're a hypocrite, Lexa," you finally spit.

It's like you've said her shirt is black: she doesn't so much as bat an eye. It's almost as if she wasn't surprised, as if... she already knew. Her stoic silence fuels you even further and you're now shouting: "You're a hypocrite who never cared for anyone! You make promises then break them, you take people's trust by feeding them lies, your word doesn't mean shit!" You know you're going a bit far, but you don't care. Knowing she's hurt and that she's throwing herself back in there, it's just too much, it's pushing you over the edge.

This time, Lexa doesn't stay quiet. She closes on you, slowly, dangerously, and you back up until you feel the lockers agaisnt your back. Still, you never drop her gaze. Terrified as you are, you honestly don't know where you take the strength to mutter: "You act all high and mighty all the time, like you're above everyone."

Then, the unthinkable happens: her eyes go soft like you used to know them and her gaze suddenly look so heavy. She whispers in the softest voice: "Not everyone. Not you."

This does take you aback and you stagger for the briefest moment, all anger forgotten. God, her eyes are _so_ soft. "Lexa, what does that mean?" you can't manage anything above a whisper.

She looks down at the oultines of the flask you keep in your pocket. Damn Lexa and her perceptive eyes. You forgot she sees everything, she always did and apparently, she still does. You know she knows what's in it and also knows, somehow, for how long it's been glued to your side (if the worry in her eyes is anything to go by. She might notice everything, but you, you see right through her).

"I never meant to turn you into this," she murmurs softly.

"I didn't start drinking because of you." It's petty and you both know you're lying.

Still. You stand by it.

Kind of.

Not really.

You choke on a sob and close your eyes, shaking your head. God you feel pathetic. She holds out her hand and you know what she's asking for and you freely give it to her. You don't even think twice, it feels like the most natural thing. You were supposed to be the one stopping her from getting even more hurt and now, she's the one lifting you up. But you don't dwell on it and on what it could possibly mean.

"Clarke, I-"

"Lexa! Coach is calling you!"

You can't help but feel disappointed, you think she was about to say something you wanted to hear. She puts a much needed space between you and looks at the ground before admitting, almost shyly: "I'm glad you came, Clarke."

"Whatever you decide to do, just don't get yourself killed."

She does that almost-smile she's so good at and you turn around, feeling lighter than ever without the familiar weight in your pocket, and for the first time in forever, it doesn't feel like you're walking away.

\----

The next time you drink (and get drunk) is at a party a few weeks after Homecoming game and it's ...well, _not_ smart.  
Octavia begged you to go with her so she could meet up with that Lincoln-trumpetist-guy from Homecoming. She even talked Raven into (not that she needs any convincing into going to a party, especially since she apparently broke up with that mysterious person of hers). You needed a little more convincing since it was a Polis people party and you hadn't spoken to Lexa since the locker room. Neither one of you had asked for the other's number, but in this social media era, there were other ways to go around if you wanted to find someone. You were so sure she was about to tell you something important before she got interrupted, but it appears it wasn't that important. Or that _you_ weren't (objectively, you know this is most likely your insecurities talking, but the hell with being objective right now, it's not like it was the first time she hid something from you). Anyway, you reached out for her that day: it was now _her_ turn.

Right?

So here you are, at what's-their-face's house party, Octavia no where in sight and being the awkward third wheel between Raven and some girl (Luna Rivers, you think they said and you briefly wonder if having a nature related name is a prerequisite for attending Polis).

"So, during Homecoming game, you people were screaming something like "Heda". What's the deal with that?" Raven asks.

"Well, we first shouted "Head Girl", but it kind of sounded like "Edgar" so..."

"TOLD YOU!" You start at Raven's sudden cry. "These bitches said I had it all wrong, now I think somebody owes someone an apology and three hundred dollars for severe emotional damage."

"How about I lick those wounds of yours?"

You take it as your cue to leave as you have no intention to stare at them, shamelessly eating each other's face. You wander around and find yourself sitting on a couch.

"You look like you need a drink" someone says as they suddenly appear next to you.

You turn around and pleasantly find a drity blonde girl not so subtly checking you out while handing you a red cup. A distraction seems like the perfect thing you need tonight.

"I'm not sure that's a compliment," you smirk, "but I'll take it anyway."

"Hm, well, is me checking you out a compliment then?"

"Maybe. I've heard taste is relative."

"Then again, some beauties are universal. I'd say the same for you since _everyone_ is or has already checked you out tonight. I'm merely the only one who had enough balls to come talk to you."

"Well, say more stuff like that and you've got yourself a universal beauty for the night."

"Niylah."

"Clarke."

This is how you find yourself flirting with the ennemy (you like theatrics). You like her wit and as the evening goes on and the drinks come in, your personnal space slowly dissipates until it practically merges with hers.

\----

Well, you lost your friends, you broke you mobile phone. It's 3AM and you're drunk as hell in the middle of the street, dancing on your own. You can't flag a taxi cab, and you don't know your way home. How ironic you actually live the words to your favorite song. You wonder if _she_ still listens to it sometimes.

_Clarke._

You look around, but find nothing. You probably imagined the honey-sweeet voice you can't get enough of (or can't seem to run from). You close your eyes, lean back and start to drift off to neverland...

"Clarke."

You finally take notice of the ground underneath you (but don't remember laying down) and of a pair of arms holding you around the shoulders. "What?" you mumble, straining to open your eyes to find green worried ones.

"Clarke, stay with me," she pleads.

Maybe she means more, maybe you hear something else.

"And it's hard to find a reason - to stay -, when all you have is doubts - that you gave me-."

"Hard to see inside yourself, when you can't see your way out." Her voice is so soft and you reel in the feeling she remembers the song, how she seems to live the words as much as you are.

"Hard to find an answer, ..."

"... when the question won't come out."

Her presence, the shine in her eyes, the erratic beating of your heart, it all seems to sober you up in an instant. You want to be present for that shared moment you thought you wouldn't live again. She stares into your eyes for a long moment, watching you crawl back from the depths of your drunken state.

"Clarke, I... Everyone's been filling me up with noise, and, at first, I didn't know what they were talking about. They've been telling me that lo-feelings are weakness, that in order to become the best version of myself, I had to walk this life alone."

You may have sobered up, but your head is still heavy and you know that she is opening up her heart: you've dreamed about this countless of times. But this time is not the good one.

"Lexa, wait..." You cup her cheek, you can't help it, too overwhelmed by what's happening. "I want to have this conversation with you, just... not like this. Not when I'm half laying on the ground, still kind of drunk, having no fucking idea how and where you appeared from..." She seems to realize her absolute bad timing and she looks down sheepishly. "... having no clue where I am," you add with a smile, unable to resist teasing her when she's so cute and vulnerable. You brush your thumb over her cheekbone and feel her shiver at your touch. "Lexa, take me home?"

\----

"Lexa, no!"

You can't believe you're back at it again.

"Clarke, leave it, it's fine," she growls.

"But you _just_ took off the cast, literally two hours ago! It's not ready to go out there!"

"It's been fine long before we took off the cast. I cannot afford to miss another game, Clarke, it's fine."

"Oh my God, stop saying it's fine!"

"But it is _fine_!"

"I can't believe how stupid you are!"

You're shouting now, thoroughly berating her in the locker room right before the "big" game (they all seem to be "the big one"). She flashes you a glare at your last statement and dangerously closes on you. She stops in front of you, only inches apart, you can feel her hot breath on your face, but refuse to break eye contact.

"Don't you think I know my own limits, Clarke?"

Her whisper is the opposite of your shouting, but sounds all the more dangerous.

" _Fine_ ," you grit between your teeth, "go crazy and break it again or tear it off, for all I care."

"Well, you sure sound like you care".

"Fuck off, Lexa."

And she does. She storms out and you try to calm the thundering of your heart.

\----

"I told you it was fine."

She's so smug you can't handle it. Can't handle her smirk and the things her shoulder pads are doing to you.

"You need to ice it."

"It's fine."

You're going to kill her and she seems far too pleased with herself. Well, she won the game after all. And now, you two are alone in the locker room, she's sitting on a bench in front of you, all sweaty and sexy with her uniform, and so _smug_ you might break.

Goddamn it.

Is it you or is it really hot in here? You feel the start of a flush on your cheeks and _where is_ the stupid ice? That treacherous body of yours.

Whatever.

Your body wants to play? Well, you're gonna make a damn use of it and Lexa's gonna be your plaything.

You look her straight in the eye and you know it, you see it in the way her throat bobs when she swallows, she knows something's changed in the air and she no longer has the upper hand. An icepack appears out of thin air in her hand and she busies herself with it to avoid looking at your hungry gaze. Spurred by her flustered state, you kneel in front of her and find her eyes again.

"Let me." you rasp, your voice low and husky.

You can't help but bite your lip when your hands touch. Polis' mighty quarterback, under your spell in the locker room. You reel in the feeling.

That is until you see the darkness take over the green of her eyes. That is until you feel her hands pull you up to your feet. That is until you feel her body crash into yours, and the cold lockers slam on your back. Her ragged breath is a hair away from you and she's got a death grip on your shoulders. The muscles in her jaw are working overtime and you just want to discover the wonders it could bring you.

"Clarke..." It's so soft, a plea barely audible.

The lust cloud clears enough for you to ponder on the pain behind it. You know she's been hurting too even if you've selfishly thought you were the only one. She might rule over Polis Private School, she might be the youngest quarterback to ever achieve as much as she did, but everything she accomplished, she did alone. Her eyes have always spoken louder than her words, and you let her know, as you cup her cheeks, that you know she would do it _with_ you given the opportunity to do it all again. You've only felt such tenderness in a kiss once in your lifetime and you never thought you'd get to experience it again. You taste the words on her lips, swallow them like you've been deprived of water for the last two years: _I'm choosing you_.

**Author's Note:**

> You can leave a comment below if you liked this story and think it should be more than a one shot!


End file.
